I genuinely hope whoever is reading this is having a good day. Today has been a long one, but a really good one! For the first time Emeline settled into a sleep routine! I really hope this happens tomorrow because we have been trying for a while now to get this down. That is what made the day good. What made the day long was that I have only just now finished working at 7 and now the house needs cleaning, dinner needs cooking and I just now realized how hungry I am!
I was walking in the park today with Emeline and I noticed that the leaves are almost completely gone from the trees. I suddenly realized that Emeline’s favorite thing to look at will soon be gone and when the leaves finally do come back she will be almost one and probably won’t be interested in them. Soooo, I am coming up on my final days of Emeline’s excitement every time I push the stroller under a tree. Her face just lights up with delight, if you could see it. Every day I bring her outside and let her touch the leaves and I used to set her stroller facing a tree in the summer for a nap and when she woke up she would just lay there watching the leaves in the wind.
I’ll stop myself now, but the point here is that babies grow so fast! One day they have a cute gesture or expression and suddenly it’s gone. You didn’t know it was going to be the last, but it was. I know that with a child there will be many last times and some will be harder than others. The worst thing about the last time with a baby is that you don’t know it is going to be that last time! I wish now that I had just soaked it all up even when times were difficult. Just 6 and a half months ago my baby was born and I have already forget how small she was and how she used to act at certain ages. I wish I had written it all down in a book and taken more videos. I have plenty of pictures, but they don’t let you re-live the moment like a film does.
That is my plan now, to blog more, vlog more and write things down. I still haven’t taken Emeline’s hand/feet prints, but I will this weekend. And every time my baby is crying, won’t sleep or being difficult I am going to try to laugh it off, be patient and deal with it. I’ll tell myself it won’t be like this forever and maybe then I’ll remember to take it all in and enjoy. Yes, even the worst times.
The cleaning and scrubbing
Can wait ’til tomorrow
For babies grow up,
I’ve learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down, cobwebs.
Dust, go to sleep.
I’m nursing my baby,
And babies don’t keep.
Adapted from “Song for a Fifth Child,” by Ruth Hulbert Hamilton
It is truly amazing to watch a new person explore the world they now live in. It must be like magic. I find myself looking at things and trying to see them the way Emeline does, patterns I’ve never acknowledged, textures I’ve felt so many times I don’t pay attention. I am still very much me, but becoming a mother has made me see the world in a new light. One thing is for sure, I certainly cry more easily now.
I challenge anyone reading this to take a video today of what you are doing and who is with you or make a memory, something you can look back at in years to come like an ornament for Christmas or a picture, because you won’t ever have this moment again. Good or bad, in years to come you can look back and smile, see how you’ve changed or be proud you got through that time.
In closing, I am happy to say that with children there will also be many first.